Surprise! You Just got Owned By Naruto Uzumaki
by LadyGrimR
Summary: Naruto Uzumaki has been adopted by the legendary Sannin, Tsunade! Perhaps 'he' will surprise and override everyone's expectations. Damn straight 'he' will. The kid isn't as stupid as "he" looks and "he" carefully plays this to "his" advantage.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Alright, reading several stories as well as having strange dreams about Naruto gave me the urge to write down at least the introduction to this story. So I'm saying that yes, I've taken some ideas from other stories and I'd like to thank those that do recognize their work in my own story, if they ever read it.

Story Begins:

12 years ago….

"HOKAGE, HOKAGE, THE NINE-TAILS IS ATTACKING KONOHA!"

A tall, blond haired, blue eyed man looked to his wife that had just given birth to the most beautiful baby with sad eyes.

The woman did not have long left to live after that surprisingly complicated and painful labor and delivery of the beautiful baby. Kushina Uzumaki stared at her husband for several minutes, feeling herself slowly fade away into the blissful darkness that she did not want to let herself give in to. She whispered. " Naruto."

Oh god, she didn't want to die this early, leaving her beautiful baby boy behind.

She teared up, giving a definitive nod towards the 4th Hokage and she kisses her baby boy on the head, whispering tearfully.

" Good-bye my little Naruto, you will turn out to be big and strong… and" She had to stop for a sob was making its way through her throat. "Smart, and handsome just like your daddy, and you will be looked upon as a heroe in the village that you will save."

She slowly handed him over to his father, giving the tall man an affectionate stare before collapsing back into her bed, her chest heaving slower and slower. His glance told her that she was still breathing but just barely and he didn't realize he had tears running over his cheeks until he turned and walked out into the dark, blood red lit night.

Several Anbu black ops appeared and he gave a nod to them and they all disappeared towards the impending doom.

If this was a ranked mission.. It would have been S-ranked. Even above S-ranked if such title did exist.

In this such case, S stood for Suicide.

Having heard that her home village was under attack, Tsunade and her traveling companion had hurried to the village to lend their ninja skills and also their already famed healing techniques.

Tsunade was defending her felled patients with her superior monster strength while healing all she could, sometimes both at the same time.

Nothing knocked her out of her daze of healing and defending until several cries of " THE DEMON FOX IS DEAD, THE HOKAGE SUCCEEDED!" emerged from the sudden silence of the village.

Several hours later after the last of the dead were taken to separate rooms, and the injured were being worked on diligently, the 3rd reinstated Hokage took up his old office and actually cried as he held a baby boy in his hands. The council was quickly active, and there were several members stone faced or crying men and women alike as they accounted for their losses.

" Sarutobi-sama! Why are you holding the late 4th's baby?"

" Because this baby saved our lives. The 4th sealed the fox away inside the child."

Several gasps of shocks and outcries. One female member of the council, shrieked. " You mean THAT's the Nine-Tails fox?"

Several more minutes of outcries and mean comments made their way around the room before the Sandaime had heard enough.

" STAND DOWN! I order this an S-class Village secret and any more mentioning of this without my approval WILL answer to me! Meeting adjourned!"

There were a few crazed glances given his way.

Tsunade and her little apprentice stood still, leaning against the wall. Tsunade looked very serious, almost scarily so.

"Who's going to take the kid, Sarutobi-sensei? You know very well that some idiot will blabber to his or her spouse and that would start a chain reaction across the village."

The 4th Hokage lit his pipe and stood at the window, even for an older man he was handsome, with very little wrinkles across his face and perhaps a strand or two of gray hair.

"You very well know that once word is out about this, there will be hardly anyone worthy enough and open-minded to take this orphan into their home. Even the orphanage will probably try to kill him."

"I'll take him."

Those three words shocked the silence into the air, almost as if the entire village was rendered speechless by her confession.

"You'll what..?"

"I'll take the kid, and raise him as my own, and teach him anything I can to take on this cruel and deadly world. You know as much as I do, that this village would tear this kid up. Probably even more so than the real world."

The Hokage's pipe lit up softly as the man took a deep inhale of it, and slowly released his breath.

" Then I shall go get the adoption papers. And once we mourn the dead, I highly recommend you going as soon as the dead are buried."

" Right!"

The Hokage had sensibly put the little one down into a crib that was stationed conveniently near his desk at the head of the council room, and Tsunade picked up the tyke and glanced down at the baby.

Tsuande was a woman of a child-bearing age, though she certainly wasn't a tomboy, she was rather non-maternal in some cases, as her apprentice would readily agree.

But there was a grace to see how the baby fit into her arms perfectly and looked to be in an even more peaceful sleep then it was in when it was in the crib.

Or perhaps the cushioning of her bosoms were very comfortable to a child of that age.

The very next day, as expected, whispers were running rampart as

Tsunade brought the little one to the ceremony to commemorate the dead.

Glares weren't being directed at her, but at the bundle in her arms. The blonde woman was seconds away from destroying the ground upon which they walked to see them stumble into their own graves themselves.

At long last, the time arrived to see Tsunade and her apprentice off to the next lands they were traveling to and only a selected few knew about this salutations.

Previous to this time, Sarutobi had personally interrogated several council members and high ranked ninjas. He appointed the most trustworthy of Anbu to guard Tsunade and her company as well as appointing several of the Anbu that have passed his test to occasionally check in on her and the baby.

Back in the present, Tsunade gave a half hearted, nod and handshake to everyone present, for she was terribly suspicious of just about everyone before gladly turning on her heel and leaving the gates of the village with Shizune at her side and little Naruto nestled in a stylish sling that was on Tsunade's back.

It wasn't until late at night when the pair reached the next town within the Village Hidden in the Leaves that Shizune and Tsunade were freaking out over a naked child, laughing and giggling at the sight of their unintentionally funny faces.

"Tsunade-sama…. Naruto…Naruto's a girl!"


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto had been to her home village visit her Old Man Hokage, every other weekend. She really didn't understand the harsh glares from villagers; even some high ranked shin obi were giving her deep stares of pure hatred and some other emotion..

Fear?

Through out the years, knowledge seeped into her consciousness and she understood what had happened. She didn't like it, but she understood, and she had to deal with it. There were several times when Tsunade had to leave for a few hours and left her on her own in a playground that adults would immediately steer their children the hell away from the "demon kid". She was deeply hurt by this until she decided that she had to suck it up and be somebody that they would never sneer, throw things ( which she dodged with increasing agility), threaten, make nasty comments and chase with ill intent. With Tsunade warning her of the evils that could befall a little girl that high ranking officials hated, the Sannin let her dress more and more as a male and taught her dirty technique to get away from any such situations.

Little Naruto loved looking like a boy, because she could get away with several things while looking rough, dirty, and bloody. he had looked like a little boy, in her androgynous style clothing and the villagers hated the "Demon Brat" and " Monster Boy" with increasing intensity as she got older.

She would no longer get angry after each insult, or cry at night. But she would hit the log harder and harder, or throw Kunai and shuriken with more vengeance the next day when she was training. Or whenever she was feeling particularly daring, she would prank the hell out of the adults that had done her wrong. And. She never got caught.

As the child got older, more concerns were raised towards Naruto's safety. Tsunade felt that she had no choice but to have her as her apprentice. Even closer than Shizune was to her in such case. That's right. Naruto began learning chakra control.

Naruto: Age 10.

Jiraiya and Tsunade were talking in a pub, very close to their chosen hotel room and were speaking quietly in a corner to each other.

"This is not a date, Jiraiya" she said while looking at her menu.

" Of course it's not. We're not here to talk about us" the male Sannin immediately got serious as the waiter took their orders and went off.

Tsunade looked down at the table, crossing her arms onto it.

"So you know the council majority is against you having adopted her" he started off simple.

"All the more reason she would do well to be my second apprentice. You know very well that if a child got a chance to be a second generation Sannin… that Naruto would not have been anyone's choice." Tsunade murmured.

" Hmmm so you're going to teach her everything?" He leaned back onto the booth's cushion his eyes lazily searching the tavern.

" Everything that is within my power and hers to do so. She is already excelling at Academy jutsu. I feel that eventually… she will pass her teacher."

Tsunade looked very proud as she stared hard at Jiraiya.

"I'm doing it, and the council can just kiss my ass. We are no where near Konoha and in my opinion, Naruto's dream to be Hokage is wasted on such an ignorant village as this one."

Jiraiya crossed his arms, staying silent as the waiter returned with an arm's load of plates.

Once the faceless person disappeared, he continued.

" Naruto's host. You know her chakra control is horrid right now. Hence why she can do Shadow Clones exceedingly well… but academy clones poorly. I think I can help with that. Even if the chakra of the fox and Naruto's personal chakra have a wall preventing them from mingling… Naruto has massive chakra stores. If… no when she learns to control her chakra to do medical ninjutsu…."

He trailed off, the thought not lost at all, but the implications behind the greatness that could become of Naruto in the years to come left both Sannins breathless.

After dinner, Jiraiya had met Naruto once again, lavishing her with a few trinkets and the like before getting her to lift her shirt.

As soon as she did, he slammed all five of his fingers into her abdomen, forcing all air out of her lungs and not even giving her enough time to take a breath or scream before she passed out cold.

In the girl's mindscape, the little girl hopelessly wandered all over the sewers, until the giant cage appeared, a seal had been in place and prevented the fox from escaping.

Unlike any other girl, when the Kyuubi's gigantic head stared down at her, the fangs looking to be as big as her own body, she stared up at him with awe and squealed, as little girls do.

"FOXY-CHAN!"

A deep voice rumbled from the fox as he growled at the child and lowered his face to her level inches from the cage and inches from the child's face.

"Do you know who I am, little brat?"

" You're the Fox-sama!"

" I'm the great Nine-Tailed Fox, Kyuubi."

The girl was staring in awe. After the girlish part of her safely removed itself from her mind she began thinking straight.

" So you're the one that is making my chakra unstable. Kyuubi-Chan, may you please control the leakage?"

There was silence before the great fox spoke.

" I can add minor detailing to the seal from inside of my cage so that the leakage will diminish. What I cannot do is stop your stores from growing. Your chakra is trying to convert my chakra into your own. I will not stop that, but I can stop the leaking. Brat, be glad that this is a good day for me. Now wake up."

Naruto jerked away, gasping loudly to catch her breath. Only a single second passed between the time where Jaraiya's fingers had slammed into her stomach and when she woke up.

" Are you okay, Naruto?"

She suck in her breath. " Yeah. Yeah I'm fine."

Tsunade who was overlooking the process clapped her hands together with a determined look on her face. " From this day forward, brat, I will be putting you through hell, back to earth, and to hell again. By the time I am done with you, you should be spitting information on which poisons destroy just the major organs and how to identify them in your sleep! By the time I'm done with you, you should know how to smell out a poison from miles away. By the time I'm done with you. You'll only need a finger to do this." With that, she took one finger and thrust it against a fence, instantly destroying several meters of it in all directions from point of impact.

" Got that brat? I don't want a imbecile as my apprentice!"

Naruto had stared in awe at her mother, not knowing the exact power of the Sannin.

She immediately bowed deeply, chanting. "YES Tsunade-sama!"

Both Sannins nodded in approval.

" Now for your first lesson. Chakra control. Start by walking up trees, walls, any non-flat surface. Move to water, moving, standing, and even roaring. In one week, I want your chakra control absolutely perfect or I'm not going to take you as my apprentice any longer! Got that?"

"YES Tsunade-sama!"

And with that, Naruto ran off, several shadow clones having been wordlessly summoned.

Training:

Scene 1: Tsunade and Shizune were having a good time throwing everything within reach at Naruto, even summoning clones to do so with a vengeance. It wasn't until several days later that Naruto had finally noticed a slight pattern of all of the two's movements and were now flawlessly and gracefully dodging them.

Scene 2:

Naruto's hands were suspended over a dead fish. She was trying to revive it from just a little life of her own. Her eyes were closed in concentration, sweat dripping down her face. All 20 of her other clones were in the same condition.

Every few hours she would dispel a clone and summon another to replace it, hopefully gaining some ground on the task and also to not overload her senses with exhaustion.

She passed out for several hours last time she dispelled all her clones at once.

The fox had kept up his side of the deal, and there was a more detailed seal on her abdomen.

It took the girl several weeks even with hundreds of clones to perfect her chakra control. However, one time in her mindscape, the fox gave her advice on limiting the amount of chakra at her disposal at one time.

She immediately took up on the offer and asked Tsunade for some help with storing 75% of her chakra away.

Now, at all time when she was not in danger, she ruthlessly trained at her 25% chakra, immensely gaining control of the chakra rapidly and starting to heal minor wounds after that.

When Tsunade had approved of her chakra storing seal, she looked towards her daughter with maternal happiness. She was very proud of Naruto.

Naruto's days were drilled with human anatomy at the same time while dodging Tsunade's Taijutsu skills.

She was getting better at it, but wasn't up to par with her mother's expectations.

Naruto's favorite part about training besides the medical jutsu was the strength training.

At first Tsunade showed what she wanted Naruto to do without chakra.

When she punched a tree, her fist made an incredible sized dent in the tree.

With Chakra, Tsunade punched the tree off its roots and sent the airborne tree into another tree and knocked that one over too.

Therefore, it was a requirement to either use all strength for Taijutsu and chakra enhanced strength whenever Tsunade called for it.

It may have been for her sick pleasure, but the Sannin made Naruto wear weights all the time. She said it was to help the strength as well as help the speed of her Taijutsu.

Well than.

It was pure hell when she would increase the weight with her chakra at random times of the months, even while spouting information at Tsunade while dodging and parrying her attacks.

Most of the year went by in flashes of soreness, chakra exhaustion ( she wasn't allowed to tap into her conserved chakra) and imminent improving.

For the most part of the year, Naruto had been moved back to Konoha, suffering in determined silence of the taunts and attacks of the village.

The most painful thing that happened was a year before the Genin exams… the council ruled that Naruto Uzumaki must return to the village and stop all communications with her adopted mother.

Weeks before their final goodbye, Naruto had been teased and insulted mercilessly, some villagers even physically assaulted her (physically not sexually). Thank god that she was sort of hiding as a boy. The orange jumpsuit that she wore covered any curve that might have grown on her body, as well as covered the weights that she always, always wore. Plus orange was her most favorite color.

The farewell did not go as planned because it turned out that Tsunade took Shizune and Ton Ton and hightailed it out of Konoha the night before.

Strangely, Naruto didn't feel betrayed or angry. She did feel sad. The council grudgingly awarded her a semi-run down apartment and allowed her to go to ninja academy school.

This all happened so fast for the little girl, that she did the only thing that she could do. She bore it and grinned.

She remained a tortured soul inside, but outside. She was happy and she threw several pranks on the unfortunate bodies of Konoha. This was not her revenge. If she did get her revenged. She would unleash her 100% chakra enforced, unlocked chakra reserved full force of her most favorite attack, Cherry Blossom Impact.

While, in the final year of academy with her façade on, Naruto had been training till exhaustion would make her pass out, every single day.

As the day approached, her training would get more and more ruthless, even missing the first several minutes of class the next day which would send Iruka-sensei roaring his head off at her.

The day before the Genin exams, Naruto was feeling particularly spiteful, and proceeded to make artwork of the Hokage Monument, in full daylight. With her orange jumpsuit on.

She put eye liner, colored each Hokage's hair to be that of when they were alive, and put whiskers on all of them and it took hours to do, before she rushed off to the class.

Ooh today was going to be such a good day.

She chuckled evilly, putting on her fingerless gloves and entering the classroom only to connect eyes with Sasuke Uchiha.

Cold, heartless bastard.

She scoffed and moved to her self acclaimed seat and immediately fell to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Mid-Lecture, Iruka was interrupted by a few loud snores from the back of the room. A vein appeared in his forehead and he took out 4 separate kunai and flung them at the sleeping students expertly.

By the time the other students knew what happened, they were in awe of the speed of their sensei when angered. The children that were sleeping were a Choji Akimichi, Shikamaru Nara, Kiba Inuzuka, and the one and only Naruto Uzumaki.

The former three had screamed and fell back on their rears in fear of the amazing accuracy of Iruka-sensei. Well Shikamaru wasn't exactly quivering in fear, but his pupils were perhaps a little dilated in surprise.

However, it was to Iruka's surprise that Naruto hadn't moved a single centimeter. The kid was still asleep, snoring louder even, and the kunai was mere centimeters from his nose.

It was Naruto's intuition that awakened her and she rose to the wakeful world with a loud yawn, and a small belch.

" What's up, sensei? You were jabbering on about the different Nations in this country. Why'd you stop?" She asked quite loudly.

The vein on Iruka's forehead got larger and he started yelling. " I WILL NOT HAVE YOU SLEEPING IN MY CLASSROOM, EVEN IF YOU WERE RIGHT, IT IS DISRESPECTFUL TO OUR NATION TO NOT HAVE THE CHILDREN LEARN ABOUT THE CREATION OF THIS GREAT COUNTRY!" He started to go on and on in this side lecture, and Naruto groaned, leaning against her desk and eyeing the other three that got in trouble along with her.

"Yo, you wanna ditch? I have some ramen with my name on it."

Without waiting for the other's replies, she flipped onto her desk, sprinted to the window and prepared to jump out of it.

She stuck her tongue out at Iruka-sensei and wiggled her bottom in his face before disappearing into the village street.

Iruka had turned an angry shade of red as he started to give chase to the children escaping from his lecture, and he turned to give last minute instructions to the children that were very obedient to study the last few pages lectured.

And with that, Iruka-sensei started to give chase to the four rascals that were laughing and on their merry way to their destination that had to be more important than Ninja Academy.

Two female ninjas, roped into helping capture the Ninja Academy escapees for the day, was pursuing a Kiba Inuzuka when she and her partner finally happened to glance towards the faces of the Hokage Monument.

There was a moment of silence while they stopped pursuing, and simply stared at what was Naruto's "art".

They looked towards each other and calmly commented on the artwork. " I wish the Fourth looked like that in real life. Eyeliner looks sexy on a blue eyed-blonde man.. I mean blonde mountain face…?"

It was a few hours after only the Nara, Akimichi, and Inuzuka were captured and returned safely to their classroom, that the search was still on for the Uzumaki.

How did the kid evade several top ranking shin obi in the greatest Hidden ninja village!

And on top of that, how did he deface the Hokage monument in bright daylight in a bright as hell jumpsuit!

Did no one care to look up?

But now that people have finally noticed, the women of the Ninja forces were beginning to pay particular attention to the Monument.

It is noted in Naruto's permanent file, that he managed to get the exact eye and hair color of all the Hokage's exactly correct, and gave them eye enhancement colors around their eyes.

It is also noted that the female ninjas were admiring the site of the young Hokage's with fervor.

If a notorious S-ranked criminal had managed to distract almost 45% of Konoha's Ninja force… who knows what would happen to the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

Alas, her work was done, Naruto had to remind herself to play a dumbass, and she sloppily allowed herself to get caught, just like other times at exactly 3 hours 25 minutes after escaping.

It was Iruka that tied him up and slung him under his arm, and marched him to the classroom exactly like that for the entire trip, the vein in his forehead pulsing dangerously.

Iruka dumped the boy on the floor in the classroom and immediately surprised the class with a Pop Quiz: Transformation Jutsu.

She had groaned with the rest of the class, getting some of the dirty looks shot her way, and she gladly gave them back at the rotten kids with a death glare, immediately making them shut up and turn away from her.

The first few kids transformed themselves with few flaws, except for Sasuke who did not need to utter the words, and Sakura who was seeking Sasuke's approval.

At the sight of Sakura, Naruto made hearts appear in her eyes and she jumped onto Sakura, only to be thrown on the ground as Sakura tried to get closer to Sasuke.

She glared at the dark-haired boy and straightened up when it was her turn.

Without a word, she transformed herself into the ultimate jutsu.

Her super sexy, secret awesome Sexy Jutsu. Long blonde hair, bright blue eyes, long shapely legs, clouds covering curves just barely hidden: the males of the classroom all leapt backwards and fell over, some with nosebleeds.

And there goes the other percentage of the Ninja force. Naruto was dangerous if she ever decided to get the hell out of Konoha.

"NARUTO YOU IDIOT, WHAT THE HELL KIND OF JUTSU IS THAT?" Iruka-sensei got up with tissues in his nose.

She blinked and transformed back into her kid self, looking away. " I'd say that Jutsu has the power to knock out over 50% of the ninjas in Konoha, seeing as they are male, and or females that have relationships with other females."

She shrugged, placed a huge grin on her face and winked at him.

"Why you little…" Iruka was interrupted by the bell ringing, signifying that it was the end of the day.

"Class dismissed, but Naruto… Naruto has to clean up the Hokage Monument!"

Iruka watched Naruto as he calmly walked out of the classroom. He was very suspicious of Naruto. The kid had made an excellent point.

He knew that Naruto was adopted against the wishes of the council by Tsunade. One could not, not hang around a Legendary Sannin and not absorb something of an intellect.

He headed towards the Monument to check on Naruto.

Lunch with Iruka-sensei was calming, her Ramen was hot and tasted good, and she was tired from the extra training she had with her clones. One of the clones was cleaning the monument, easy with the non-permanent markers and dyes.

"Iruka-sensei. What would you do when the universe is against you? That everyone around you , or most everyone around you wants to see you dead? That everyone thinks you're a dumb ass, and that everyone wouldn't care whether you died or not?"

Iruka stopped eating in shock, his head turned towards the young boy who's hair created shadows over his eyes. He gave the boy a tight hug, almost crying as he realized the severity of his questions.

"I would find the people that mean the most to me, and continue living for them. In spite of everyone, I would continue living for those that are dear to my heart, and perhaps slowly try to change the hearts of the people that want to hurt me or see me hurt."

She returned his hug, with a tight grip, staying silent for the longest time.

It was only until Iruka realized that his weight had become dead weight that he noticed that Naruto was passed out.

Start of a Beautiful Relationship: Non-Romantic Of course.

An Actual POV this time Yay.

"What the fuck? I already learned this? Mizuki you no good piece of shit, get out here right now! You think luring me into a trap would benefit you?"

"Naruto no!" Iruka's body appeared before mine, and I shouted pushing him out the way and stopping the rotation of huge shuriken.

I caught the shuriken and held it behind my back, pressing the scroll into the ground.

"Don't you ever fuck with Iruka-sensei, Ever again!" I screamed in anger, flinging the huge shuriken from around my back and at him.

Mizuki's eyes opened wide and he could only use the other shuriken to stop the attack with his own.

The two large shuriken crashed with a screech of sharp metal on metal and sparks and they skidded into the ground, closer to Mizuki then to me.

I clenched my fist into my hand, scowling.

"Did you ever know why the people of this village hated you since the day you were born?"

I rolled my eyes, wordlessly summoning a clone behind me and substituting it with myself so I could trail behind him.

The clone continued to speak.

" You think changing the fucking subject will work? You just tried to kill my sensei , you heartless son of a bitch!"

The clone suddenly smiled sweetly, pointing behind Mizuki with a grin on its face.

"Say good bye."

" What?" He turned slowly.

" And Hello." I smirk evilly at him, only a few feet away from him and on the same branch. Upside down. I charged up my fist to 2% chakra enhanced strength and slammed my fist into his fucking face with a savage cry, sending him through a tree and severely denting another.

I leapt to Iruka, who was staring at me in shock, tears making their way down his face.

"Iruka-sensei! Are you alright?"

I landed by his side, and he narrowed his eyes at me. " She didn't…"

I grinned. " She did." I healed a small cut on his eyebrow, my fingers growing a soft healing green before coming away from his face, only the blood from said cut still on his face.

"? Why did you fail the test?"

" 1) Because Mizuki looked honestly testy to me. A desperate glint was in his eye, and his vitals were demonstrating anxiety. And 2) I simply don't know the Academy Clone Jutsu. I never had the chance to learn it."

I shrugged and turned to look at the scroll.

" I decided. Just now. To protect the people I care about, I have to be the strongest ninja in the village. And you know who has that title?"

I looked up at the light sky, tears running down my face. " You know who has the power to change things in a country this large?"

I smirk as I feel Iruka's headband cover my forehead, the cloth warm from his body heat.

"You'll need the rank Genin first."

" Of course…" I smirk, looking towards the two large shuriken entangled within each other.

I whisper. " Of course I will."


	4. Chapter 4

Soon enough, the next day came, along with several bruises and scratches to tell what happened to me yesterday.

I hummed softly, standing in front of the refrigerator, nothing on but a large T-shirt, and I made a breakfast of cereal.

I through out the old milk, and poured new milk into my cereal.

After breakfast, I jumped into my most stylishly awesome orange jumpsuit and ran off, quickly tying my head band to my forehead and sprinting to class.

"Naruto what are you doing here? This is the class for graduates only." Shikamaru voiced, lazily.

I sat on the desk in front of him, and wordlessly pointed to my head band.

" How does that look for you, Shikamaru?"

He only groaned and I laughed and jumped from the desk to the nearest seat.

I sighed loudly when I realized who I jumped down next to.

I leaned back into the chair, putting my feet on the desk and almost falling asleep right then and there.

Key word: Almost. Were it not for the duo of banshees screeching about Sasuke Uchiha.

Poor emo.

" HEY NARUTO, WHY ARE YOU SITTING NEXT TO SASUKE!"

Several of the girls around immediately started shouting in protest, and I snarl, acting like an idiot, and jump on the desk, to glare intently at the black haired child.

"What's so great about Sa-suke?" I purposely draw out his name like that, smirking as our gazes clash. I was very into the staring contest when I heard the seat behind me start to move and I immediately twirled around to catch the idiot that was about to fall. That would have been messy if he would have bumped into me.

I sulk into the seat next to Sasuke while Sakura not-too-sneakily sneaks into the seat on the other side of Sasuke.

I finally did fall asleep only to jerk awake and fully conscious when I hear my name being called.

"Team 7: Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha."

There was baited breath, a pause from Iruka as he obviously expected some kind of outburst from either one of us.

Sakura did not disappoint, at first groaning in dread when hearing my name and then cheering loudly at Sasuke's.

I had turned my head to stare at him, allowing tension to flow through my body before giving him the bare minimum of a nod and smirking.

" Rivalry accepted."

Holding a portable cup of ramen, I sat on a billboard, the billboard for Icha Icha Paradise.

With one leg propped up and the other supporting the ramen, I glanced around before coming up with an ingenious plan. Loneliness began to creep up on me so I thought it would be best to get Sasuke to eat with me.

I grinned evilly, outlining a plan in my head. From my ninja pack, I received my binoculars and searched for the dark haired wonder.

"Hmm, the window is open. And he's leaning right against it. You better watch your back more when I'm around Uchiha…" I made a noncommittal noise in the back of my throat.

"I'm going to attack through the window, exchange 2 minutes, 12 seconds of hand to hand combat, and then fake lose to you, only to trip you when you turn your back on me, for me to tie you up, and henge both of us… can't have your reputation being driven down of me besting you, can I? Then I'll take you to Pinky and we can eat like the team we are."

I immediately spotted Pinky and nodded to myself.

I jumped from the billboard and sprinted across rooftops to the window next to Sasuke's and then casually sprung onto the ledge where he was sitting and tackled him out of the window, making sure to slam it shut.

My plan went on flawlessly, after having tripped him and tying him, down, I flashed my pearly whites at him and kneeled next to his head, glaring defiantly into his dark eyes.

" We are having lunch like the TEAM we are, no exceptions." I lifted a finger, and touched his forehead, muttering. " Henge!"

Immediately it was a blonde kid that was tied up, and I henged into Sasuke, and winked at his glaring image before hoisting Uchiha over my shoulder and leaping out of the window, after Pinky.

I dumped the blonde on the ground next to Pinky and immediately pulled out a scroll and summoned a large picnic basket and blanket upon which I immediately set our lunch.

I just remembered to drop both our henges and Sakura gasped in horror, hurrying to untie Uchiha.

" Lunch is served!"

I happily began to eat my ramen, and hummed a cheerful toon. I did notice that to other two stared at me incredulously, but I paying no attention guzzled down my meal.

"MMMmmmmm, that was good."

I packed up the leftovers, sealing everything back into a scroll. "Even if lunch was completely void of talk, I enjoyed the lunch I had with my TEAM." I grinned foxily at them, and jumped onto a branch and went off to the classroom we were supposed to meet our next instructor in.

Once within the room, I sat in a random seat and took out my illegal copy of the Genin, Chunin, Junín, and Anbu of the Village Hidden in the Leaf, and read the abilities of each one.

I was trying to figure out which unlucky soul would put up with the three of us.


	5. Chapter 5

Couldn't have my reputation of being a retard tarnished, so I reluctantly put the book away and leaned forward , putting head on my arms to think.

Well, only Junín are assigned three man squads, and there are only a few that are qualified to try and teach an Uchiha.

The only one with a Sharingan is Hatake. But also there was the other Uchiha. I doubt he would show up in Konoha for a while. Hyuuga, if teaching anyone would probably want to go with his daughter.

I sighed looking up at the ceiling. Kurenai is genjutsu, but Sarutobi is a wind type of chakra nature.

Narrowed down between Sarutobi and Hatake.

Which would be the best to teach though?

"Dead Last" or "Child Prodigy". I grinned to myself.

Well if Uchiha is getting all the attention, that means I need to work harder.

I created a fist with my hand and twitched excitedly as few muscles protested a little.

Bring it on. I'll make Tsunade proud of having me as HER prodigy.

My god, our instructor was so fucking late!

I groaned, laying actually on the desk and trying to get a nap.

Three hours later, a creaking door awakened me. I sat up with a start, my eyes immediately pinpointed the hand that opened the door followed by the silvery hair of a Junín and I sat back in my seat, frowning while glancing at the Uchiha from the corner of my eye.

The council sure has gotten biased.

I jumped up on the desk, whipping a kunai out, twirling it around my fingers and letting it fly at the Jounin.

He only stepped aside nonchalantly.

"NARUTO you idiot, he's a Jounin, of course it wasn't going to hit him!" Pinky screeched.

I titled her head at her like, "No duh".

Suddenly a large bag of flour was dumped onto the poor Jounin creating a lot of noise.

I had another kunai in my hand and I was idly twirling it.

"AND THAT was for being late!" I sat on the desk with a smirk on my face.

"My first impression of you guys….. You're all idiots. Meet me on top of the building in 15 minutes." Hatake says with a bored tone of voice.

He poofs away after his speech is finished , and I walk out the door, creating a shadow clone to clean up the mess and I walk upstairs towards the ceiling with Pinky and Moody behind me.

-Meanwhile- 3rd Person

Kakashi Hatake was leaned over the desk of the 3rd Hokage.

"Sarutobi, the records on Naruto are extremely wrong! within 1 minute of meeting the boy, I could tell that he emits serious intelligence behind a façade of stupidity! Are you telling me the council has fallen for this trick?"

The 3rd Hokage stood from his desk and peered out the window, as he does when immersed in thought.

The Hokage new a lot about Naruto Uzumaki. Her true gender, her true upbringing, detailed accounts of her training, and battles. A Lot. One of the only ones who new the true Naruto. He had helped her keep her under the radar status when it came to the council.

He turned to the Jounin and nodded solemnly. " what Naruto learns under your tutelage will be kept from the council and from the general public. Understood?"

Kakashi Hatake nodded, stepped away from the desk and Sushin-ed away.

- 3rd Person

Exactly 15 minutes had passed, and the team known as Team 7 had gathered on the steps on top of the academy.

Naturally, Naruto had taken the middle position on the top step, and Sakura and Sasuke had sat beside her on the same step.

Kakashi leaned against the railing staring, yes staring at the blonde.

- 1st Person

Awakening the next morning, at 7, I ate breakfast, blatantly ignoring the warning about not eating. Damn right, I'd rather have a full stomach so as not to be at a disadvantage to a Jounin that has never passed a Genin team.

I checked my watch, and packed a picnic basket full of food that I made last night and stored it away in a tightly sealed seal. I grabbed my weapon pouch, headband, and the pop tarts that were in the oven and sprinted out the door.

Arriving at the bridge in minutes, I dodged a poorly made attempt of a punch from Pinky.

"YOU'RE LATE! AND SO IS KAKASHI-SENSEI!" My eardrums were ringing.

I finished the pop tarts and deadpanned. " Don't you know he always comes at least 3 hours late to everything?"

Before I could say anything more, Kakashi had appeared on a support beam, perfectly balanced.

" Good, now that you're all hear, we can start the survival training."

He herded us to a training ground next to a flowing river and 3 stumps.

"Your objective is to get these two bells from me. Those that do will pass, and any that do not will be tied to this tree and made to witness me partaking in your lunch." Two stomachs groveled right on cue and I quickly eyed Haruno and Uchiha from the corner of my eyes. That would be a problem.

I missed the next couple of instructions, but I did hear a loud and final : "The time starts now!"

With two bursts of chakra, Uchiha and Haruno had jumped away to their hiding spots.

I however had stayed in place, eyeing him. I mouthed to myself. "Now why would the Hokage allow a 2 person squad to continue to the Chunin exams? And there is no way in hell 1 genin could take a Jounin one v one unless under extreme consequences."

I took a seat and started playing with the dirt, my elbow on my knee , and chin in upturned hand.

I looked at the Jounin, not really staring directly at him. " And with this Jounin, it's highly unlikely even 3 genin could beat him even without the use of that eye…."

I was barely able to control my facial expression, but my breath did hitch.

But with careful planning, 3 genin could distract a Jounin and cut a string off of that Jounin's clothing…

I stood up slowly, and jumped into a tree, several feet away. Creating 4 shadow clones silently and efficiently, I sent them away with barely a nod in their direction before taking out a several hundred kunai and shuriken with invisible wire attached.

I had appointed myself to distracting. Let's hope they get the message very quickly.

I take a deep breath and smirk to myself.

Diving out of the tree, several shuriken and kunai erupted from my hands at a furious pace.

Sprinting from place to place, I was aiming for the ground and trees surrounding Kakashi and I paid no attention to the fact that he was dodging. I had a shit ton of ninja tools.

I jumped from tree to tree, unleashing all the weapons I could get my hands on, and until I deemed it satisfactory, I continued jumping and throwing.

I dived out of the tree I and landed with a crouch on the ground before spinning in a circle, with a burst of chakra to get the momentum going.

This tightened the strings and made it more impossible to escape without damage, and I tied the thousands of strings to a single kunai and lodged it hilt deep into a tree on the other side of the clearing.

I jumped back and sat in a tree, masking my heavy breathing. I felt memories of each of my clones assault my mind and I close my eyes and scoff.

I flew down the tree, took my kunai and retracted all the kunai back into a scroll, to the carefully hidden amusement of Kakashi.

I grumbled, and jumped off, to sit on the top of the middle tree stump, and opened another scroll and got out my lunch.

Hours passed by, and only Haruno's scream had caught my eye.

I had gone from eating at the top of the stump to napping at the bottom of the stump.

I couldn't be bothered with so called team mates that thought I was the idiot and the class clown.

They'll be certainly surprised at Kakashi's results when we fail this test of his.

The alarm finally rang at Noon, waking me up from my peaceful sleep, and very soon afterwards my other two stand alone teammates appeared, trudge back towards the stumps.

_3rd Person

It astonished Kakashi how Naruto moved in action. He very well could have made a plan to get the bells himself, but he had seen how the Naruto clones had approached the other two and looked to be pleading.

He had decided to stay in the trap, knowing full well that after catching a glint of a line, he would have fallen in it if he were anything other than a former Anbu Black Ops and a high ranking Jounin.

He was surprised at the efficiency and thought of creating an attack and was seconds away from lifting the headband when Naruto had suddenly stopped the attack, withdrew it into a scroll, of all things he learned sealing?, and walked off with a sullen expression on his face.

Creating a clone, the real Kakashi had followed Naruto and watched him from a far, not really hiding, while the clone went to terrorize the rest of the team.

He grinned behind his mask when the sounds of his success filled the air.

He grinned even harder when the alarm rang, blaring loudly and causing two distinct groans to be heard from the Uchiha and the pinky.

- 1st Person - Naruto

I was tied to the tree, thanks to my genius plan of packing a lunch with me.

I knew this was another test and so I could only sigh and stare at the real idiot of the team as she screeched and yelled at me for 'cheating'.

I rolled my eyes and looked to Kakashi, who began explaining that all of us were hopeless.

"Naruto was the only one that actually had a strategy and the correct one. Tell me, why are Genin put in groups of three?"

I had gotten looks of blatant disbelief and I only gave them one of disdain back.

"You guys have one more chance, and only one more chance. You two may eat lunch, but if you give Naruto any, you guys automatically fail."

I only rolled my eyes. Typical. The fact that I eat a lot during the day is being held against me. Right on cue, my stomach gurgled in slightly discomfort a little.

"I'll be right back to set up for the second half."

He disappeared, and as soon as he did, Sasuke turned around and stuffed his chopsticks into my mouth.

I almost choked as, I stared incredulously at him.

" Shut up and eat it. Obviously you're stronger than you seem and we're going to need your help."

Sakura had looked between the two of us, confused.

"Teamwork. And I have no big speech for you two, therefore that' s the only word I'm going to say."

Suddenly Kakashi showed up with thunderous clouds and lightning in the background.

I broke the ropes with pure strength and fell to the ground, landing on my feet.

"Before you start…" I began.

" Team." Sasuke muttered.

And Sakura yelped from behind his back. " work!"

"I'm… starting to like this team. You guys….. Pass. Good job. The real missions begin tomorrow, meet me same place and same time."

I grinned and began walking away after the instructions. I'm thinking I need to get some nice healthy ramen..


End file.
